Overcoming Flirtophobia

Feb 7, 2018

I flirt therefore I sell….or I flirt therefore I date?
Descartes was not thinking about Valentines Day when he said “ I think therefore I am” .

Pat Armitstead , the worlds first Joyologist,  holds the notion that ” I flirt therefore I sell”, and says if that is the truth then the same can be true for  “I flirt therefore I date?”

With Valentines on our doorstep Pat says  we can bring a little love into our business and our lives by looking at what it means to flirt.

A large number of people hold some fear around flirting.  They despair of finding a new partner, and wished they did not feel so awkward amongst strangers.  Perhaps we can dig deep and explore flirting, and help overcome some initial barriers.  So, for starters, lets not call it flirting.   Lets think of it as using our own inbuilt charm!  Olde world charm and modern day flirting are perfect partners.  Exuding charm is a social skill.  It can be learned and as you practice it you get better.  Then one day you don’t need to flirt because you have found your partner!
True or false?

Well I will halt you right there because I think you need it always.  Just because you have found a partner and are no longer “hunting” does not mean you stop being charming and flirtaceous.  To do so would be to stop being friendly.  And since when was that an option?  So, flirting needs to be put in context.  Our many daily encounters provide opportunities to flirt and have fun.  Yet we let the mundance and ho-hum take over sometimes.

So…what is this thing called flirting then?  I think it is putting your best foot forward to encourage interest in another.  It is the first step towards  building a new relationship.  It is the reparte that tests the water and identifies when the others interest is sparked.  With out the banter and a hint of naughtiness….just  cheeky fun, everybody loses interest.
Ah…I see i have your interest!  Why the naughtiness?  Well in romance if it is too plain and ordinary there will be no spark.  Without the spark there is nothing to ignite the flame.  Without the flame there is no passion.  Flirting requires so little effort, just simple diligence to the task.

The only thing that stands in the way is our memory of old hurts….and the possibility of rejection.  When we concentrate on treating others with care we appear alive and attractive.
There are only 2 positions in the flirting game.  You can either say you flirt….or you say you can’t.  You work out which choice you will make…and, even if you are a tad nervous….then “fake it till you make it”.  You are really just being friendly!  And flirting is a solitary activity, and nobody else will know if you “fail”.

​Oh, and here’s some tips for the readers/viewers.

  • Be the bearer of good news
  • Be a good listener
  • Go out of your way to meet new people
  • Pick up the telephone
  • Learn when to be quiet

There is a myth about mirth in business.  It sounds a bit like this…” You are in business to make money, not have fun”
Using humour and a flirtaceous manner in business does not mean you are being a clown.  It shows you are a warm, responsive, intelligent and considerate person.  I put it to you that humour is the most effective human resource, and lets us inform, educate, enhance personalities and entertain.  It’s been proven to boost morale and productivity….and therefore profits!!

“You can’t lift your bottom line if your people are down”